How to Avoid Tantrums When Traveling: Top 3 Tips

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Do you ever wonder what it takes to have a tantrum free family vacation? Just one nice family photo? Just one day of no arguing and no meltdowns?

It can be hard to maintain the energy needed to stay positive and keep everyone from having their grumpy negativity damper the moment.

Have you heard yourself say the following?

We work hard to earn these precious days off, and we are going to enjoy ourselves!
We are having fun, so act like it!

…you get the idea.

Forcing fun is a very quick way to delete fun. You want to make memories as you live them, not create a perfect memory you want to end up with and make it happen no matter what.

Do you see the difference? Have you been guilty of this? I know I have. We build our expectations up so much for this perfect experience that when things happen (normal things that make perfect sense, but we will get into that in a little bit) we snap. We become the enforcer, the “we are having fun as a family whether you like it or not” person.

OK, so how do we handle this?

I’ll admit there is no perfect one-size fits all way to guarantee absolutely nothing goes wrong. BUT there is a strategy (3 strategies actually) that can help you side-step full on grumpy grumbles and tantrums, if not prevent them all together.

By the way- these 3 strategies also work on the adults in your party, and there is a special 4th strategy I use for trips with a large group mentioned at the end.

Pretty much every technique I use with my own kids and family can be narrowed down into one of these 3 categories.

Strategy 1: Snack

Kids naturally eat less food more often. Their stomachs are literally smaller than an adult’s. This is something we often forget, so as soon as there is some crankiness settling in, I think:

How long has it been since they last ate? What did they last eat?

You don’t want to get in the habit of just feeding your kid every time they are tired or bored, so be sure to think first if food is an appropriate answer. They need snacks that are nutritionally balanced, they need protein, they need vitamins. I am not a doctor or a nutritionist, but I do know that just snacking on sugar all day makes the crankiness worse (for kids and adults- can you say sugar crash?).

Toddler Eating Cheerios at Baseball Game — Snack Time at the Padre’s Baseball Game- Cheerios are a Perfect Snack on the Go!

So if your answer is yes, they need food and probably something with substance, be sure to get them an appropriate snack quickly. The longer you wait to satisfy their hunger, the more their crankiness can turn into a full on tantrum.

Here 7 of my favorite go-to travel snacks:

Yogurt Pouches & Fruit/Veggie Pouches: Fruit & veggie mix in a pouch is a great way for them to get similar nutrients. I added yogurt pouches because it adds additional protein and calcium to their snack. Plus these GoGo squeeZ yogurtZ Pouches don’t need to be refrigerated until after they are opened- perfect for traveling!
Cuties: my girls love fruits, and a cutie takes time to eat since you need to peel it and it has multiple slices. If you have a baby or a toddler, chances are you have baby wipes for easy cleanup of sticky fingers. Just be sure to have a bad for the peel to go into if a trash can may not be easily accessible such as when hiking or waiting in line at Disneyland.
Grapes: Grapes are another great travel fruit since they taste just as good even when not refrigerated. Make sure you pre-cut the grapes to make them into age-appropriate pieces for the younger ones.
Granola Bars: They have baby granola bars, or you can use regular ones depending on what food stage your toddler is in. We like to use Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars (Oats ‘N Honey) since they come with 2 bars in each pack- one for each girl. We also like Gerber Soft Baked Grain Bars for the 12m+ toddler age.
Crackers and/or Cheerios: Ritz crackers, Graham crackers, Saltine crackers, Goldfish Crackers- we try and pick just one option from this list so we aren’t tempted to stuff the girls full of too many cracker snacks, but we do switch it up per trip. Cheerios are a great go to and we love getting these Goldfish Micky Mouse Snack Crackers especially on our Disney vacations. When camping, the extra Graham crackers from the s’mores end up in the car snack bag on the way home.
Carrots: This may not work, depending on the age of your munchkin, how many teeth they have, and what kind of table food they are able to safely eat, but carrots for the kids that can eat them are a great vegetable that do well out of the fridge. I know that I don’t like to eat broccoli if it’s room temperature and without ranch dip, but carrots are good on their own and a great crunchy snack to munch on.
Fruit Snacks: This one is also dependent on age, but it’s a great treat for our 4 year old. She loves fruit snacks so we save it for later in the day. It also takes time to go through the pouch since there are multiple gummies to eat, so it keeps her focused for a bit.

What are your go to travel snacks? Anything not on this list?

We try to travel light, so it’s usually cheerios, some kind of granola bar OR cracker (OR trail mix), and a fruit of some kind. If meals are not easy to move up time wise if needed, we will add in the yogurt pouches and another cracker choice.

I usually have some kind of candy in my purse for myself, but I wait until after they eat their granola bar before taking it out since I know I am going to have to share whatever I open.

Once they are no longer hungry, you may need to continue on to the next one or two strategies depending on the situation if food wasn’t quite enough to adjust their behavior.

Strategy 2: Nap

Sleeping is hard to do when you are hungry, so be sure to get that snack if your little one needs it before attempting to have them take a nap. I know sometimes my girls have fallen asleep while eating cheerios, so it covered Snack and Nap with the same action.

Nap Time at Disneyland- Take Advantage if your Kids will Nap in a Stroller

Keep in mind it is also hard for some babies and toddlers to sleep in a stroller or in someone’s arms or when there is noise or when there is no noise.

My point is, every baby is different.

Think back to what tactics got your little one to go to sleep at home and recreate it on the go.

We are fortunate that our little ones can nap in the stroller or the carrier despite any background sounds. In fact, nap time was the perfect time to go shopping at California Adventure. We got out of the heat and the girls were asleep so they weren’t running around the store trying to touch everything.

Here are some tricks to try if you aren’t sure what tactic works to help your little one doze off for a bit.

6 Ways to Help Little One’s Sleep while Traveling:

Sing or Hum: It doesn’t have to be very loud- you don’t need to let the whole world in on your mini-concert. Just hold your little one close and softly sing a song they are familiar hearing from you. My go to is any Disney song, “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean,” or “You are My Sunshine.” Having a baby carrier in the bottom of the stroller can help free up your arms without having to commit to the baby carrier over a stroller for the full trip.
Read: Take a small board book (the ones with stiff pages) that you can show your little one while you walk. Or sit down somewhere to read for a few minutes. Reading is wrapped up into our normal nap time and bedtime routines, so a book is familiar and it feeds me constant words to have a continuation of my calm voice without me having to think of a story off the top of my head.

Take the few minutes to stop and read instead of fighting with a cranky munchkin for hours. I always take at least 1-2 books with us on any trip.
Tool: A pacifier (binky)* or stuffed animal or blankie can make all the difference if that is what they are used to. My girls love cuddling a stuffed animal (or two) during nap time and overnight. They go through phases on which one is “the” one they want most, so I pick whichever is the current favorite for our trips. I used to have a stuffed animal pig I wouldn’t go anywhere without- my mom had to buy extras of the same thing!

*As for the pacifier, every kid is different and there are different schools of thought. Be sure to talk to your pediatrician or pediatric dentist on pacifier recommendation. Our first daughter fell asleep so easily with a pacifier her first 2.5 years, but our second one never really wanted one. There was a trade off as this meant she was not as easily consoled, but it made it much easier not having to transition her off of using one.

Keep Moving: Some kids may do better stopping for a bit in the shade and a quieter atmosphere, but others need to keep moving. This is for those in a carrier or a stroller (or even just in your arms). The constant movement can distract them and help lull them to sleep. When camping on the beach, I just walked with our youngest in the baby carrier and she was asleep before getting back to camp.
Go back to the hotel (or cabin or tent): If your little one will not nap on the go, take the time to go back for a nap wherever you are staying. Again, a short nap time detour (even if it is 2-4 hours) is much better than getting frustrated with a baby or a toddler who is crying and screaming and saying no to absolutely everything because they just need sleep.

This is probably the hardest one for me to do since I want to make the most of our trips by going places and doing things.

I have to remind myself we paid for the hotel (or campsite), we might as well make use of it. This gives you some quiet down time as well. Everyone can be refreshed and ready to go after a break.

On our Disneyland trip where we stayed in the Grand Californian Hotel, it really made a big difference to take the time for the 4 little ones to take proper naps most days we were there. Those rooms are not cheap (although we did go in off season), so it made even more sense to pause and use what we paid for.

Early Bedtime: If nothing is working, use the distract method mentioned next, don’t skip any snacks or meals, and resign to an early bedtime for that particular day. Often times they may get cranky easily, but can be distracted easily enough for a short amount of time. If a nap gets missed (or is too short), we try and plan for bedtime to be an hour earlier than normal.

Strategy 3: Distract

Ok, they are not hungry, they are not tired, but they are still overstimulated and energized or cranky and confused or any number of other emotions that can lead to not being happy.

Time to distract them.

Turn their thoughts and focus to something else. Little ones are learning how to cope with emotions and how to act in different situations. Traveling adds all sorts of new sights and sounds that are foreign to a baby or a toddler (or even a kid who hasn’t been anywhere far from home before).

The goal with distraction is to have them focus on you who they know and trust and rely on. Then you can help them absorb the world around them one step at a time, making it into a game.

Boogie Board at Beach- mom and baby. — Munchkin was afraid of the water until we invented a game with the Boogie Board

Sometimes the crankiness comes from picking up on their parents’ stressed emotions. Use the distraction techniques to get the whole family involved in turning a cranky situation into one of your best memories the whole trip.

Also, if they have been required to be still and quiet for a long time (to a child, even 10 minutes can be an eternity), it’s not practical to expect them not to have their pent up energy explode out eventually.

Yes, they need to learn proper social decorum, but you can’t expect a toddler to sit still and be quiet for a 6 hour car ride or on a 4 hour flight without any mental stimulation or outlet for their energy.

Let them be loud and run wherever possible. When that’s not possible (or socially appropriate), distract them with a quieter game that engages their mind and gives them the parental attention they want and you always want to give while you’re stuck at work.

Don’t forget, family vacation isn’t time for you to be scrolling through social media on your phone. It’s a time to reconnect and spend time interacting with each other.

Top 5 Distraction Techniques for Cranky, Fussy, or Fidgety Kids

Description: Describe what you hear or what you see. Let them interact with their surroundings. Is there a rock or a tree they can touch? Is there a bird they can look at? Narrow their focus and help them digest the scene one piece at a time.
Sing or Dance: You may look silly, but who cares? Passers by aren’t what you need to pay attention to. Skip or hop on one foot then the other, do a spin. Sing about where you are, where you are going, or sing an actual song they are used to hearing.

This brings their focus back onto you and not what might be tipping their emotions towards the high end of the scale. The idea is once they calm down, they are in a more comfortable emotional state, making it easier to adjust to the new surroundings.
Exercise: Have them sing and dance. Or perhaps it’s time to get out of the stroller or carrier for a bit and walk around. Find somewhere they can run around and be loud for a bit. Run with them. Let them get that extra energy out in an area where it’s ok to do so, then continue on to wherever more controlled behavior is required.

Our oldest loves to dance on whatever “stage” she finds, and many places have music playing already. Our youngest loves to run. Fast. She laughs and thinks it’s a great game when we run to catch up with her. Know this about your kids and give them their opportunities to shine wherever possible.
Play a Game: Eye Spy, “I’m going on a picnic” alphabet game, name that song, or any number of other word or song games that don’t require a board with playing pieces. Think road trip games.

“Look at that, it’s a…” Is one of my favorites for babies and toddlers. You point in a random direction and say “Look, a___,” and you say whatever your finger ends up pointing to.

My sister tried this with my daughter at the Zoo one day and ended up pointing to a gourd, which is a very random item you wouldn’t expect. We all had a good laugh and munchkin was no longer fussing.

What type of games do you like to play on road trips or while traveling?

Breathe: This one seems obvious, but it’s not. Kids catch onto our own emotions more than you might think. If you are nervous, apprehensive, frustrated, angry- they will know and will either mimic that emotion or react to it.

You don’t have to be nothing but happy sunshine every moment of everyday, but stop and take a breath when you feel frustrated with the current situation.

Many times leading up to tantrums your little one has done nothing technically wrong and it’s the situation that needs to be adjusted before their behavior does become the issue.

Breathing helps calm you down, can clear your head, and let you see if behavior actually needs to be corrected or if another technique needs to be implemented to change the situation (such as a snack or a nap for example).

That doesn’t give them a green light to throw a tantrum just because they are tired or hungry. But if they are getting fussy because they are trying to communicate something like hunger, then that isn’t exactly time-out worthy, especially if they are at an age where they completely rely on you for what and when they eat.

Mom and girls on rock at Joshua Tree National Park — Distraction through conversation- she was nervous up on the rock at first

These distraction techniques are especially great when trying to get little ones to smile for a picture. “Look at that!” “Say, ‘I’m on top of the world!’” or even just spinning around with them and stopping, taking the picture as they laugh are all great distraction techniques.

Ok, so what if distracting isn’t working? You’ve tried food, they won’t eat. You’ve tried a nap, they won’t sleep. You’ve tried every trick in the book to get them to smile and be happy and stop fussing, but it won’t work.

With babies and toddlers, communication on needs is hard.

Little ones don’t know how to ask for what they want, so they fuss during a big guessing game until you hit the jackpot with an answer.

Know that sometimes, there is no answer. Don’t let this stop you from making memories as a family.

You can have fussy moments at home and fussy moments while traveling. Do you avoid going home because your little one might cry? No, you handle the cries as they come, the best you can.

Go places and just be flexible with your itinerary. Most people are understanding of smaller children to a certain extent, and if the crying just won’t stop, call it a day. Get a good night’s sleep (as much as possible), and try again the next day.

Our first baby slept anywhere, no problem. Maybe some new places she needed some extra cuddles and some music to lull her to sleep (we brought her music bunny everywhere), but overall she slept very well.

Our second? Can’t sleep on her own with anyone else in the room. This makes camping a little different as I let her fall asleep in my arms then sleep in my sleeping bag with me the whole night (keep in mind co-sleeping isn’t accepted by some medical professionals as a safe option). Be sure to ask your pediatrician what they recommend for sleeping arrangements if you need to change things up while traveling.

There was one time we actually put little munchkin’s pack-and-play in the bathroom so she would have her own room. It worked like a charm, she we all slept all night!

Those frustrating moments are worth every ounce of energy when you look at all the fun family moments we had the rest of the trip. Watching the girls open their eyes in amazement at the world around them is priceless.

If you take anything away from these tactics, don’t let fear of the uncontrollable prevent you from travelling with your kids. Adjust, adapt, and be prepared. You will not regret it!

This leads us into the 4th bonus strategy. It’s used in all situations, but is especially useful when traveling in larger groups. This strategy is all about you as it requires will power and flexibility over your own action, reactions, and emotions.

BONUS Strategy 4: Acceptance

I don’t mean to accept a tantrum when someone doesn’t get their ice cream or the toy they want or the whatever decision they were hoping for, I mean to accept your family and friends for who they are at their best…and at their worst.

When we travel there may be moments where it is longer between meals than we are used to.

Jet Lag or being stuck in the car for hours on end can add to a natural progression of crankiness.

Too much fun can overstimulate the senses and start to wear us down- in an obvious way for kids and a more subtle way for adults.

We become overtired, overstimulated, and hangry (so hungry, you’re angry).

Sometimes using Snack, Nap, Distract isn’t enough to change the tide, so you need to be prepared to flow with it or swim parallel to shore until you can get out of the whirlpool.

What do I mean by that? Well, when traveling with large groups, you should know who you are traveling with.

Know what frustrates you when they (and you) are a bit on the cranky side and be prepared to plan accordingly.

Knowing what someone might say or do beforehand can help you stay that beacon of positive energy to keep the group on track for enjoying the family time even with a “cranky-pants” in your midst. Go with the flow and don’t let any negative, cranky statements get to you.

Easier said than done, I know.

Keep in minds, it is OK to admit there is such a thing as too much together time. Be able to split the large group up into smaller groups.

Casey Junior Train Ride at Disneyland — Me being a great role model (*note sarcasm*) at Disneyland- all in good fun, I promise!

Let everyone know ahead of time it’s possible you, your spouse, and kids may split off from the rest of them to go do something with just your little family unit. They may not be keen on the idea (after all, many assumptions of family vacations is that everyone is together every minute of every day), but if they know it’s a possibility ahead of time before you even go on the trip, then they can accept it as a reality.

It gives you and them a little break to unwind, reset, and appreciate the time you have together when the group meets back up again as a whole.

Traveling with the grandparents? Let them take the kids for a bit, if they are up for it. That will give them some time with their grand-kids away from hovering parents and it gives you and your spouse some kid-free time. It’s a win-win!

When we did a multi-generational trip to Disneyland and Disney California Adventure, we had the few who were not up for being on their feet all day stay in the hotel room to keep an eye on the kids while they were napping in the afternoon. Those of us who wanted to keep experiencing the parks went out for a couple of hours to ride the fast, non-toddler-friendly rides during this nap time.

Who to Travel With

I truly believe family vacations go much smoother with a positive mindset despite anything that “goes wrong,” and that if your efforts are to immortalize an absolutely picture perfect, nothing went awry, the picture is actually how it was type of trip, you will stress unnecessarily.

That being said, there is a line you should draw when it comes to who you travel with.

If you have known them at their best and at their worst, is their worst something you are willing to deal with when you travel? Maybe one some trips, but not this one? Or maybe, they are just not going to make it as your go to travel buddy, and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means you respect your differences and want to maintain a positive relationship with them without undue strain.

If you don’t know, then keep an open mind on your first trip together and start out with a day trip or a weekend get-away. You don’t want to find out you’re better off not being travel buddies 2 days into a 2 week vacation an entire plane ride away from home.

It isn’t even just personality compatibility you should think about, but also the financial aspect. How are they at splitting costs? Borrowing money and paying it back? Is their budget similar to yours? These are just a few things to think about before booking those reservations.

We are fortunate to be able to travel with both of our extended families and close friends. We know they are great with our kids, we trust them, we talk finances and food plans before traveling, and we end up having a great time- occasional tantrums and grumbles included.